Tradwives Distance Themselves from Movement Ideology

A growing number of women who were once prominent figures in the tradwife movement have begun to distance themselves from its ideology and some have even renounced their past involvement. This shift is particularly notable given that these women had previously been vocal advocates for traditional gender roles and patriarchal values.

One such woman is Bernadine Bluntly, a 36-year-old influencer who had built a significant following by promoting a return to fundamentalist Christian values and anti-feminist ideals. Her content, which included selling T-shirts with slogans like "RIP Feminism, had been widely shared on social media platforms.

In the past, Bluntly's online presence was characterized by her staunch opposition to feminist ideologies and her support for conservative figures such as Brett Kavanaugh. However, in recent months she has made a dramatic departure from this stance. Her divorce from her husband was finalized earlier this year, and she has since spoken out against the tradwife movement.

Bluntly's video What I got wrong about the trad movement sparked widespread attention online when it was posted in April. In it, she expressed regret for promoting extreme gender roles and acknowledged that the tradwife movement had become indistinguishable from the red-pill manosphere.

According to Bluntly, her initial perception of the tradwife movement as a return to strong family values was misguided. She now believes that the movement has been co-opted by individuals who use spiritual language to justify control and harm.

Bluntly's decision to renounce her past involvement with the tradwife movement is not an isolated incident. Other influential women, including model and influencer Nara Smith, have begun to distance themselves from the term. Despite having a significant following on social media platforms like TikTok and Instagram, Smith has denied any secret agenda behind her content.

Smith's comments suggest that even some of the most prominent figures in the tradwife movement are beginning to reevaluate their involvement with it. This shift is particularly noteworthy given the widespread influence these women had within online communities.

Another influential woman who was once a key figure in the tradwife movement is Hannah Neeleman, also known as Ballerina Farm. Her content, which romanticizes her family's homestead lifestyle on their Utah ranch, has been widely emulated by other women seeking to adopt similar values.

In a recent interview with New York magazine, Neeleman appeared to backpedal from the tradwife movement, suggesting that she would be open to revising her content if it was causing harm. This statement marks a significant departure from her previous stance and underscores the growing unease among women who were once part of the tradwife movement.

The reasons behind this sudden shift in sentiment are complex and multifaceted. While some individuals may have genuinely changed their views, others may be reacting to criticism or pressure from within their communities. Whatever the motivations, one thing is clear: a seismic change is underway within the tradwife movement, with many women reevaluating their involvement with it.

Jennie Gage's journey out of the tradwife movement began at a young age in Arizona, where she grew up in a traditional Mormon family. Her childhood was marked by scripture evenings and Bible studies, which prepared her for what she calls tradwife life. At 12, she joined her church's women's programme, learning domestic skills such as childcare and laundry.

Gage's involvement with the tradwife movement deepened at 18 when she got engaged, but her plans were unexpectedly altered by a church bishop who deemed another man was God's choice for her. She married this man six weeks later, and on the surface, their 24-year marriage appeared idyllic as they raised five children.

However, behind closed doors, Gage faced an abusive marriage where she was denied financial independence and autonomy. Her husband controlled the household budget, leaving Gage with limited access to money or resources. The final straw came in 2018 when she discovered her husband's infidelity.

Gage's decision to leave the tradwife movement was not taken lightly, given its strong influence on her life. She had been a loyal supporter of Donald Trump and had showcased her devotion through social media. But as she began to rebuild her life, Gage started to speak out against the tradwife lifestyle, sharing her experiences with others.

One of Gage's TikTok videos is particularly telling, it shows her proudly displaying cookies she baked for her ex-husband before he left on a long trip. The video now makes her feel queasy, and she describes it as barf-worthy. This is just one example of the complexities of tradwife culture, where women are often expected to be selfless and supportive.

Gage's decision to speak out against the tradwife movement has not been without its challenges. She has faced criticism from some quarters for her past involvement with the lifestyle. However, Gage remains resolute in her desire to warn others about the potential pitfalls of tradwife life.

The financial consequences of leaving a tradwife marriage can be severe. Many women are left financially vulnerable when they depart from their breadwinning husbands who have controlled household finances. This is something that Gage is keenly aware of, having experienced it firsthand.

Gage's message to other women considering the tradwife lifestyle is clear: while she cannot undo her past, she can offer a warning to others. She hopes that by sharing her story, she can help prevent others from suffering similar experiences.

For many former tradwives, their experiences serve as a warning to others about the dangers of prioritizing domesticity over financial security.

Gage's case highlights the risks of women relying solely on their husbands for financial support. In her marriage, she was given cash in an envelope to go grocery shopping, but if it wasn't enough money, she would simply put items back.

This lack of financial independence can have devastating consequences when a marriage ends. Gage was left with nothing after her divorce and had to rely on friends and family for support.

She has since set up a GoFundMe to pay for her divorce lawyer and is now advocating for women to prioritize their financial security. Her message is clear: Have babies, get married, fall in love. But have a prenup, have a spousal trust, make sure that retirement's in your name.

Tia Levings, another former tradwife, has also made a career out of sharing her experiences with others. As a social media influencer and author, she has written about the extreme non-denominational fundamentalist Christian groups she was part of during her marriage.

Levings' husband was part of the Institute in Basic Life Principles (IBLP), an organisation that teaches husbands have God-given authority over their wives. IBLP's founder, Bill Gothard, resigned in 2014 amid allegations of misconduct and sexual abuse.

The group has also been described as cult-like" by Jinger Duggar, a member of the family at the centre of the reality TV show 19 Kids and Counting. Levings' experiences with IBLP have had a lasting impact on her life and she now warns others about the dangers of such groups.

Levings was an early tradwife influencer on the blogosphere in the 00s, writing about "beautiful homey days and promoting domesticity as a desirable choice for women.

Levings' life as a tradwife was far from perfect. Behind closed doors, she suffered abuse at the hands of her husband, who subjected her to physical and emotional torment throughout their marriage.

The trauma Levings endured was exacerbated by societal pressures that discouraged her from seeking help. Her upbringing had instilled in her a deep-seated fear of divorce, which made it difficult for her to reach out to authorities or even confide in family members about the abuse she was experiencing.

One person she did attempt to turn to for guidance was a church leader, but his response only added to her distress. He advised her that the solution lay in obeying her husband more strictly, rather than addressing the root cause of the problem.

As the years went by, Levings' concerns about her marriage and its impact on their children grew increasingly urgent. The violence escalated, and she began to worry about the safety of her family, particularly in light of her husband's sudden departure one night to retrieve a gun from his office.

Levings now acknowledges that her earlier enthusiasm for tradwife ideals was naively simplistic. She had romanticized the idea of creating a happy, traditional family without considering the harsh realities that often accompany such choices.

In hindsight, Levings recognizes that she was not provided with a full understanding of what it truly meant to be part of a traditional movement. The emphasis on domesticity and obedience came at a steep cost, including compromised health, education, and personal autonomy.

Levings' decision to go public with her story was initially unthinkable, but the rise of the tradwife movement in social media around 2015 changed everything. As figures from the American Christian right began to endorse Trump's candidacy, Levings realized that her lived experience held a crucial warning for others.

The parallels between the traditionalist ideology and the dangers posed by the Trump presidency were stark. For Levings, it was a moment of profound understanding, one that compelled her to share her story in order to prevent others from falling prey to similar pitfalls.

The origins of the tradwife movement are complex and multifaceted, with roots in white supremacist ideology.

Researcher Seyward Darby points out that when she began studying women involved in white nationalist movements in the US in 2016, online performances of trad life were being pushed by anti-feminists and white nationalists. This early influence may have faded from view over time, but its impact remains evident today.

The tradwife aesthetic has been criticized for packaging extreme ideologies in a palatable way, with Darby suggesting that this is due to sexist assumptions about women's nature: they are seen as softer and more nurturing than men.

Lauren Southern, a prominent figure associated with the tradwife movement, went viral in 2015 at age 19 with a video titled Why I am not a feminist." Her views on Islam were equally extreme, with her describing it as a threat to Western values.

Southern's advocacy for the tradwife lifestyle was marked by a rigid adherence to traditional gender roles and a rejection of feminism. However, in recent years, she has distanced herself from these views.

In 2023, Southern divorced her husband, marking a significant departure from the marriage-focused ethos often associated with the tradwife movement. Her decision to step away from this lifestyle is seen as a testament to the ongoing evolution of her personal and ideological views.

Southern's memoir, self-published in 2023, details how she was forced to reevaluate her stance on sexual assault after allegedly being assaulted by online misogynist Andrew Tate.

The tradwife movement has been facing a significant decline in popularity, with many women who were once part of it now distancing themselves from its ideology.

Some former members of the movement are comparing it to a game of live-action role-playing, where individuals create fictional personas and engage in online performances that deviate from their real-life experiences. This perspective suggests that the tradwife movement has become an escapist endeavor, allowing women to temporarily forget about the difficulties of everyday life by creating an idealized online persona.

Former tradwives who have spoken out against the movement are now highlighting its unrealistic expectations and the pressure it puts on women to conform to certain standards of behavior. They argue that this can be damaging, particularly for those who feel trapped in unhappy marriages or struggling with their own personal issues.

The apparent decline of the tradwife trend has sparked hope among some observers that women will begin to prioritize their own needs and well-being over the pressure to present a perfect online image.