Single-ish.
Tracee Ellis Ross has opened up about her dating life – and the real reason why she prefers to be with younger men.
The “Black-ish” actress, 52, discussed her love life this week during an appearance on Michelle Obama’s “IMO” podcast, which the former first lady co-hosts with her brother, Craig Robinson.
Although Ross admitted that she has dated men her age, she noted that their “toxic masculinity” was an absolute turn-off for her.
“A lot of men my age are steeped in a toxic masculinity and have been raised in a culture where there is a particular way that a relationship looks,” the Golden Globe-winning actress explained to Obama, 61, on Wednesday.
“Anything that starts to smell of that for me – I did enough of it where I was controlled and felt like I was a possession or a prize – I just have no interest in it,” Ross added. “And I will not do it again.”
While the “American Fiction” actress recognized that her comments suggested an overgeneralization about men her age, she noted that she has seen and experienced an “openness” with suitors who are younger than herself, compared to those who are not.
“I have long been past the age where I feel like it’s my job to teach somebody or grow them up,” she explained. “That, I’m not interested in.”
Even though Ross continues to date and meet new potential partners, she said she has also learned “how to live life and enjoy it” without “sitting around waiting” – even if she does still sometimes lament on the things that never were.
“I grieve the things that I thought would be and that are not,” the “Mixed-ish” star admitted to Obama. “I’m not married. I don’t have children, and I think I grieve that at times.”
“As much as grief does surface for me around not having children and not having a partner,” she added, “I still wouldn’t want the wrong partner.”
Ross insisted that she is “not interested” in being “in a relationship to be in a relationship,” and that she “wakes up every morning trying to do my best.”
“I’m not interested in that,” she explained. “You have to make my life better. It can’t just be, ‘I’m in a relationship to be in a relationship.’ So even though the grief does emerge, and that comes, and I hold that, I think of what I’ve done. I wake up every morning trying to do my best.”
“I didn’t wake up one morning and be like, ‘I’m going to mess this day up.’ So I must be where I’m supposed to be,” Ross continued. “Sometimes I think of all of the things I’ve done, the courage that I have had to have, and what I’ve had to learn how to navigate as a single person with no one to hide behind.”
“And,” the actress concluded, “I’ve built a really beautiful experience around me.”
Although Ross has never been married, she did date music manager Abou “Bu” Thiam from 2011 to 2013, per SheKnows.com. Thiam is the younger brother of singer Akon.
She also expressed her decision to remain single and childfree during a speech at Glamour’s Women of the Year Summit back in 2017.
“It’s really interesting to be a woman and to get to 45 and not be married and not have kids,” she said at the time. “I’m a good friend, a solid daughter, a hard worker, my credit is good, I take out the garbage before it gets smelly, I recycle, and I won a Golden Globe!”
As for the former first lady, she and her husband, former President Barack Obama, 63, have been dogged by divorce rumors in recent weeks, although she appeared to dispel those rumors earlier this month.
[Notigroup Newsroom in collaboration with other media outlets, with information from the following sources]
