‘Titanique’ review: Silly ‘Titanic,’ Celine Dion spoof finally sets sail on Broadway

The strange and scrappy voyage of “Titanique,” the feel-great musical-comedy sendup of the movie “Titanic” and singer Celine Dion, has been a wonder to behold. And pretty hard to believe.

If the RMS Titanic was the largest vessel of its time and thought to be unsinkable, “Titanique,” which opened on Broadway Sunday night, started out as a wooden rowboat with a single paddle.

Its first sizable-ish production was in 2022 at the Asylum in Chelsea — basically a broom closet beneath a shuttered Gristedes.

Back then, I went on a lark and left on a high. “Titanique” was the only show in New York that accurately read the room. After theaters reopened in 2021, most musicals skewed serious. But the loud chorus of laughter under that grocery store was frankly disturbing.

“Titanique” was sized up and moved to a larger off-Broadway venue, where it ran nearly three years. And then she embarked on the craziest cruise ship route ever: London, Sydney, Paris, São Paulo, Chicago, Toronto and Montreal.

And now “Titanique” has finally arrived on Broadway.

Was it smooth sailing?

I can’t say the humongous St. James Theatre, which suits hardly any show, is my favorite port of call. Nobody can argue that its distancing size is an asset to a musical that thrives on a dirty-little-secret energy. And actors dashing 10 feet to the wings doesn’t suit a staging packed with rapid-fire gags. Its new set of metal platforms and beams is more concert tour than comedy hour.

Yet the unhinged underdog retains its essential charms.

There’s Celine’s hit songs, such as “My Heart Will Go On” and “A New Day Has Come,” which have never had a dedicated Broadway berth before.

The smart and zippy book by director Tye Blue, Marla Mindelle and Constantine Rousouli weaves those emotional and nicely sung tunes into a well-told, consolidated version of James Cameron’s “Titanic” that’s also hilarious.

And with a Bugs Bunny brain that should be studied by scientists, Mindelle, playing Celine Dion as an omnipresent narrator, brings back one of the most memorable performances from any new musical in years.

The uninitiated might be wondering how Dion, who sang the 1997 film’s end-credits track, factors into the fictional 1912 story of Jack and Rose.

She’ll tell you! The musical begins when Celine crashes a Titanic Museum tour and announces that she was right there on the boat to witness the drama.

“But Celine? That would make you 140 years old,” says the flummoxed guide.

Responds the diva: “And you are confused because?”

“Titanique,” you see, banks not only on Dion’s music, but her out-there public persona. The logic is that the songstress is so confident, genuinely eccentric and, well, French Canadian, we’ll believe anything she says.

And as played by Mindelle, we do. We really do.

From there, Celine explains how engaged Rose (Melissa Barrera) met poor starving artist Jack (Rousouli) and embarked on a love affair that, in this telling, makes the audience weep tears of hysterical joy.

“Titanique” blows up all those Oscar-winning characters into ridiculous and occasionally filthy cartoons.

Rose and Jack are a match made in a hair salon. She’s a naive cheerleader type and Jack’s a vain pretty boy without a thought in his blond head. Silly Rousouli plays that up with “aw shucks” skips and winks.  

Rose’s mean fiancé Cal (the silky voiced John Riddle) is rendered a Manhattan Jafar who demands the ship go faster so he can make his hair appointment in SoHo.  

Meanwhile the boat’s bedazzled captain called, um, Victor Garber (Frankie Grande), has a different reason for pushing the speed limit. He’s driving dangerously to force a pitstop on Fire Island.

And of all the actors I’ve seen play Ruth, Rose’s frigid and scheming mother, Jim Parsons is the most easily savage, if not the most extreme. His trusty Sheldon voice sure does lend itself to venomous putdowns.  

As their hearts go on and on, songs are humorously and abruptly dropped in a la “Mamma Mia!” During the lovebirds’ first encounter, they duet on “Taking Chances.” When Jack paints Rose like one of his French girls, Celine croons “Because You Loved Me.”

Canadian chanteuse Deborah Cox excitedly belts “All By Myself” as she’s on the lifeboat. And she and Mindelle wail “Tell Him” to explain to Rose how to have sex with the help of a stuffed eggplant.

And playing the Iceberg is British actor Layton Williams. Yes, one of the creators’ more 3 a.m. ideas is having the Iceberg come to life in the form of Tina Turner to sing “River Deep Mountain High.” Williams is a smash, and this time the audience cheers the Iceberg.  

The entire cast is in ship shape. However, “Titanique”’s raison dêtre, as it always has been, is Mindelle’s glorious Celine. Yes, it’s a wacky and detailed impression, but what really makes the performance work is that Mindelle and Dion have a mutual madness to them. Deux pois in a pod. Behind the actress’ “Bon jour! Ca va?” mimicry is an unexpectedly natural and relaxed performance because the goofiness is just as much hers as it is Dion’s. She’s sensational.    

You enter a fan of Celine, you leave a fan of Marla.