Thanks, Trump tariffs, now I gotta replace my phone battery

After five years, I was still happy with my phone, even though its battery had started the inevitable process of slowing to a stop. But Donald Trump’s tariff nonsense pushed me to make a decision: buy a new phone or fix the old one now, before the prices go up. The answer was clearer than ever — I replaced the battery.

I have an iPhone 12 Mini, a size Apple no longer makes. It’s small and light, which is what I want from a phone. When it came out, our reviewer found that the battery died on him every evening. I use my phone less than most, and so this was not actually a problem for me — until this year. My battery had degraded by 80 percent, which meant that my phone did actually run out of battery at the end of the day unless I switched on “low power mode” early.

Apple has designed its iPhones to be disposable, largely because Jony Ive is an asshole obsessed with “sleekness,” a concept I do not find impressive. Its phones’ actual functions haven’t kept up with the constant churn of iPhone models. For a while now, each major iPhone review has had the theme of “a set of very nice but ultimately minor changes” from the previous model. The changes haven’t been to the phone part of the phone — it’s usually the camera, or the “dynamic island” or USB-C charging.

I use my phone differently than most people. Mainly, I use it less. My screentime is usually under two hours a day. I do not give a shit about any of the extras — or, for that matter, Apple Intelligence, Image Playground, or the various other toys my phone is too old to support, by design. What I need in a phone is: (1) a phone, for calls; (2) iMessage; (3) navigation: Google Maps and more specialized stuff; and (4) tunes. Just about everything else is optional. The camera could be a potato for all I care.

Unlike the jumbo phones I see everywhere, the Mini is sized so that I can actually hold it in my hand and — since I don’t usually carry a purse — fit it in the regrettably inferior pockets of a pair of women’s pants. When I’m backpacking, a small phone is less weight, and while I’m not an ultralight girlie, less weight does mean being less tired at the end of the day. If I’m counting ounces everywhere else, I’m counting them on my phone, too.

I don’t see any good reason my phone should be disposable. Sure, pushing people to buy shit they don’t need is a mainstay of capitalism, and arguably part of the reason Apple is one of the most valuable companies in the world. It’s only recently and begrudgingly started to allow independent repair to its devices, and even so it’s thrown up barriers like “parts pairing,” which means that if you swap out some of its components, certain phone functions no longer work. But it hasn’t offered me anything to make buying a new phone for $599 (at the low end) a better proposition than repairing it for $90. If anything, deliberately stymieing repair makes me stubbornly want to do it more.

I probably would have continued merrily on with the Mini until it was unusable, except for the fucking tariffs. I don’t know what’s going on anymore except that the future has suddenly become unpredictable. Are there going to be iPhones readily available next year? And if so, how much more will they cost? After seeing the Port of Los Angeles’ executive director Gene Seroka tell Bloomberg News about the steep drop in imports, I knew I needed to make a phone decision sooner rather than later. So I paid about $90 to replace the battery.

Apple’s approach to repair is contemptible enough on its face, but in the world of Trump tariffs, where the supply chain is all fucked up and goods aren’t coming into the ports, it’s hostile. Tim Cook’s famous supply chain prowess involved the introduction of just-in-time manufacturing, which is efficient but notoriously inflexible. Because there are no spares, interruption at any point in the chain means a shortage — as we all learned during the 2020-2021 era of coronavirus pandemic. So with tariffs, I’m nervous that Apple’s super special repair parts may no longer be regularly available. Making phones difficult to repair in this environment is inexcusable.

Cook has been busily kissing President Donald Trump’s ass to try to save Apple’s business, which is heavily reliant on foreign manufacturing. He donated $1 million for Trump’s inauguration and showed face at it, too. And what did all this kowtowing get him? Just public humiliation. You’d think, having lived through the first presidency, he’d have realized that in advance.

Sure, the tariffs have dropped from their worst peaks — for now, at least. But the uncertainty remains enough to disrupt trade, and I suspect everything is only going to get more expensive in the near term. Saving money where I can seems wise. And so far, my hoarding tendencies have looked, well, pretty prescient. After Trump announced (and then revoked) tariffs on Colombia, I bulk-bought my favorite Colombian coffee and froze the extra. Since then, the price has gone up by $5 for the 5-pound bags I bought — and could go even higher.

I’m sure at some point Apple will force me to upgrade by stopping support for crucial functions of the iPhone Mini, but I’m gambling that’s several years in the future. And there’s one more thing an old phone has going for it. Phones are constantly trying to get you to buy new things — in the App Store, in ads being shown to you online, or by upselling you on iCloud storage. In a world where everything gets more expensive, finding ways to avoid buying is clutch. And in that world, an old, slow phone I barely look at is a win.