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Gaslit or dismissed by your doctor? Experts reveal a brilliant hack that will get them to stop fobbing you off

in Health
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By REBECCA WHITTAKER FOR MAILONLINE

Published: 16:37 GMT, 28 January 2025 | Updated: 16:40 GMT, 28 January 2025

Experts have shared some doctor approved methods for making sure your medical needs are not dismissed in GP appointments. 

The average consultation lasts less than 10 minutes according to BMJ analysis, meaning many feel they rush through an appointment and struggle to detail their problem and get their family doctor to listen.

Sex Education actor Robyn Holdaway shared a few phrases with their 164,400 followers on TikTok that can help if you feel like your GP isn’t listening to your problems. 

In the video that has amassed 1.5 million views, the non-binary star ran through 15 phrases that have helped them and their followers when dealing with medical professionals. 

Speaking in the video their wife Em, who has a chronic illness, suggested using the phrase: ‘This is having a significant impact on my quality of life.’

Another the couple said to use is: ‘This is having a significant impact on my partner’s quality of life.’ 

They added to the list: ‘It is keeping me from doing normal day to day activities’, ‘I have had to take time off work because of the symptoms I am experiencing,’ and ‘I have struggled to get appropriate care for this problem’.

Other recommendations included asking the doctor to make a note of why they are denying you treatment and asking them to send a copy of your medical records to you after the appointment. 

Sex Education actor Robyn Holdaway (pictured) shared a few phrases with their 164,400 followers on TikTok

Sex Education actor Robyn Holdaway (pictured) shared a few phrases with their 164,400 followers on TikTok

The couple also said that explaining other people have also noticed the problem and said it could be an issue, may help get your GP to listen. 

To explain the extent of your pain, they also suggested saying: ‘My pain is significant enough that I can’t sleep or can’t walk.’

They added: ‘My pain can’t be managed with reasonable over the counter treatments,’ and ‘I have gone to all reasonable lengths to self manage this situation and I now need to escalate it,’ as ways of conveying the severity of your symptoms.

One social media user, who claimed to be a doctor, explained that medical professionals can use these phrases as direct quotes to ‘justify’ referrals to other specialist or for further tests, without the risk of the request being rejected. 

Another, a nurse, said she ‘totally agrees’ with the couple’s advice adding that mentioning it has affected your ‘quality of life’ is the most effective. 

In another comment a doctor said that ‘communication is super important.’

They added: ‘It normally breaks down around hard to describe symptoms and people who have been repeatedly misdiagnosed.’ 

One ‘cheat code’ the pair put forward if you worry about being dismissed due to your size is to say you still have symptoms even after losing weight. 

They said: ‘If you are in a larger body then saying something like I have recently lost 10 to 15 pounds and my symptoms have got worse, that can be a really quick cheat for doctors to not just say have you tried losing weight.’

If you are somebody with a complex psychiatric history they also recommend the phrase: ‘I’ve spoken to all of the people involved in my psychiatric care and they agree that this is not a psychiatric problem.’

Letting the doctor know exactly what you would like to happen in the appointment is another method to make sure you leave the GP feeling like you have been listened to. 

Concluding the video the pair gave one final piece of advice if you are being denied the care you feel you need.

This was to say what they called the ‘passive aggressive’ phrase ‘please refer me onto a specialist’.

Alternatively, they suggested saying: ‘Can you please refer me onto a colleague for a second opinion.’

It comes after a 2024 Ipsos poll of 1,094 people found only half of UK adults felt they were able to discuss ‘everything’ or ‘most things’ during their last appointment with a family doctor.

Most believe the standard 10 minute appointment is too short to meet the needs of an ageing population, which is increasingly living with multiple conditions. 

It also revealed many are fed up with the hoops they now have to jump through to see a GP and the long waits for care.

Share or comment on this article:
Gaslit or dismissed by your doctor? Experts reveal a brilliant hack that will get them to stop fobbing you off


[Notigroup Newsroom in collaboration with other media outlets, with information from the following sources]

Tags: dailymailhealthsex educationTikTok
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