It’s been three long days since Jeff Bezos’s Blue Origin flew an all-women crew into space for 11 minutes — leading passenger Katy Perry to dramatically kiss the ground after she touched down, like a freshly released hostage.
There’s been plenty of news to drown out the story of this ridiculous, art-directed launch that came complete with the women in perfect hair and makeup plus curve-hugging fembot flight suits custom designed by Monse.
And yet, the public backlash over mission tone deaf is still going, unabated — proving that America’s once-slobbering love affair with self serious A-list celebrity culture is completely dunzo.
The latest? Perry’s feelings were hurt after fast-food giant Wendy’s tweeted “Can we send her back” in response to news that the “Firework” singer had returned from space. “Where’s the beef?” indeed.
Maybe Perry would have accepted that from Burger King, but a pigtailed ginger? Me thinks not.
“This was a billion dollar brand using its public platform to publicly demean a woman,” a Perry source complained.
I thought space tourism was supposed to take the gravity out of things. But Perry and Gayle King landed back on earth with their egos bigger and bulkier than ever.
The entire vanity project was choreographed and produced like a music video, with Perry clutching a setlist for her upcoming tour (thanks for the free advertising, Jeff Bezos!) as she floated around the New Shepard spacecraft.
Perry even serenaded her fellow travelers — she calls them “astronaut girlie friends” — in flight.
“Katy sang ‘What a Wonderful World,’” said King. “’Cause we’ve been asking her to sing all the time and she wouldn’t. Everyone said sing ‘Roar,’ sing “Firework,’ and she said, ‘It’s not about me. I wanted to talk about the world.’ Isn’t that nice?”
For the first time in the history of flight, barf bags were needed for spectators on the ground.
No wonder this faux-feminist crew were subject to mockery, as Gayle King noted, “from people I know, like and consider friends.”
Yes, for once, the fire came from her inside her own tent.
Emily Ratajkowski said it was “beyond parody.”
“Saying that you care about Mother Earth and it’s about Mother Earth, and you’re going up in a spaceship that is built and paid for by a company that’s singlehandedly destroying the planet,” the model shamed the group.
Olivia Munn called it “gluttonous,” while Olivia Wilde reposted a picture of Perry kissing the ground and wrote, “Billion dollars bought some good memes I guess.”
Comedian Amy Schumer ripped on the famous crew members while pretending to also be a Blue Origin “astronaut.” Singer Lily Allen called the whole thing “so out of touch.”
To her simpleton haters, King said: “Have you been? Have you been?”
She also scolded people for calling it a “ride.”
“Please don’t call it a ‘ride. We duplicated the same trajectory that Alan Shepard did back in the day, pretty much. No one called that a ‘ride,’” King huffed. “It was called a flight, it was called a journey. There was nothing frivolous about what we did.”
She said she was “disappointed and very saddened” that us shallow idiots had missed the point: She and Perry were changing the trajectory of womankind.
As King noted, what the flight “is doing to inspire other women and young girls, please don’t ignore that.”
Move over, Sally Ride.
To me, it wasn’t an issue that they went on this gazillion-dollar flight. We live in a free country with billionaires who can do with their money what they please.
No, it was the bold-facers’ staggering self importance — as infinite as the universe.
King and Perry truly expected to be received as heroes and lauded as trailblazing lady space explorers, the best thing to happen to girl power since the Spice Girls.
When the two weren’t given a parade by the masses, the people they view as clapping monkeys, they were confused. So they lashed out — unwittingly feeding the backlash.
Perry insists they were providing a blueprint for peace.
“I hope they can see the unity we modeled and replicate that,” she said of Earthlings.
Mission accomplished. We were all unified in our disgust for their neediness and narcissism.
[Notigroup Newsroom in collaboration with other media outlets, with information from the following sources]
